maybe you shouldn't listen to your father

AKA: how to teach your four year old son to be a horndawg

after a long day of nerve rattling dead pine tree dropping and yard cleanup at the other house, fm and i were pretty wiped out. shortstack and i were heading out for a quick, ‘mommy’s too tired to argue with you about going to bed, you’ll be out in 5 seconds if you would just be still’ tour of the town. as fm was buckling shortstack in his seat, we ended up breaking into song about muscle soreness. so of course shortstack thought we were singing songs about our ‘nussels’ being sore. [even though we’ve told him thousands of times, shortstack’s translation remains: ‘nussels’ = nipples] he gets this amazed but puzzled (i beleive a good wood would be dumbfounded) look on his face and says ‘your NUSSELS are sore?’ i pulled at fm’s arm to make sure he knew what shortstack thought we were saying. well, when fm got back to the business of strapping shortstack in, shortstack started touching fm’s nussles. i’m guessing he was trying to massage them—since they were sore, you know? and how does fm respond? ‘that’s not something you do to daddy. or mommy. or other boys. only girls—when they ask you to.’ he didn’t even realize what he had said at first, his smartassness comes so naturally. unfortunately, it’s lost on a FOUR YEAR OLD! we were laughing so hard we could hardly keep from peeing our pants while trying to redeem ourselves by explaining why it wasn’t ok, etc. but i’m totally going to hand the phone to fm when shortstack’s kindergarten teacher calls about him grabbing girl’s chests and saying, ‘but she asked me to...and my daddy said it’s ok to do to girls, if they ask you to do it...’